By Peace Timi
Let’s be honest, in 2025, being a “Tech Bro” is more about aesthetics than actual coding. You know the type: always at the front row of tech events, constantly tweeting startup quotes, drinks only cold brew, and somehow has “founder” in their bio, but has never actually built anything.
If your laptop is covered in startup stickers, your closet is 90% conference hoodies, and you say “Let’s build!” at least once a day (with nothing to show for it), you might just be one of them. The thing is, you’ve never written a single line of code, but you’ve ‘launched’ three startups and dropped “Series A” into random conversations like it’s seasoning.
Your LinkedIn bio reads like a digital salad: “Web3 | AI Advocate | Growth Hacker | SaaS Strategist | Product Leader | Disruptor.” But when someone asks what your company does, you say, “We’re still in stealth mode,” which really means you’re still trying to figure it out.
You can’t code, but you sure know how to make a clean pitch deck on Canva. Your entire portfolio is vibes. You’ve designed logos for projects that don’t exist yet, and your Google Drive is full of pitch docs with titles like “Big Idea FINAL v5 THIS ONE DEFINITE.”
When people bring up real tech tools, you nod like you understand. “APIs? Of course, love them.” But what you really love is Notion templates. The last time you opened VS Code, it was by accident. You closed it immediately and opened Spotify instead.
At every party, you’re the guy talking about decentralization and “changing the game.” No one knows what game you’re referring to, especially you. But it sounds futuristic, so you keep saying it.
And somehow, despite all of this, you’ve built a brand. People think you’re deep. You’ve even given a talk titled “Scaling Without a Product” and people clapped. Your startup has been “in beta” for two years and your team consists of your best friend and a cousin who’s good with Instagram.
But you know what? You’re doing something right. You’ve mastered the art of tech confidence without the tech. You’re not a developer, but you’ve developed vibes. Maybe one day you’ll actually learn Python. Or maybe you’ll just keep building pitch decks.
Either way, the tech world wouldn’t be the same without you. Stay disruptive, Tech Bro.
